Family Gatherings

These are great places to collect stories. You can get all sorts of free stories here and then shine them up and add a little to them and make them your own. Not long ago I was at a gathering of my very large family celebrating a baptism, a graduation and four birthdays. Sitting around a table watching my family consume two cakes, a case of beer and two pots of coffee (we all have our drug of choice) I heard this very great story from sibling number nine:

Seems she needed to have some moles checked out which were located on her chest. Anticipating the action of opening the gown at the doctor’s office, she creatively went on-line to the directory of the doctors in her network and chose a doctor of middle age based on photos available on the site. She didn’t want to show her chest to a discerning young handsome doctor, after all.

Relieved of that stress, she drove the two hours to the doctors’ office the day of her appointment and was surprised when the door to the examining room opened and Brad Pitt walked in.

“Hi. I’m filling in for doctor what’s-his-name today,” he said with a movie-star voice and a twinkle in his blue eyes. “Let’s open up that gown and have a look."
(Opens gown and looks critically and with furrowed brow)
“Mmmm,” he hums with concern. “How long have you had that acne on your chest?”

“About a year now. Since I went off the pill.” replied my sister.

“What are you using?" asked Dr. Pitt

“Well, um” my sister stammers, not sure of the significance of this personal information but trained from childhood to politely answer all questions from professionals. “Z is out of the country right now, but when he gets home we will probably use condoms?"

“No. I mean what are you using on the acne,” he replied with a little shake of his head.

Then my sister died of embarrassment.

But it was worth it for that story.