I have been doing some software training south of Denver this week, so I decided to go to the climbing gym ( really close to the training center) yesterday to get a little workout in. I haven't been to the climbing gym in so long because it is a good distance from our home and since gas is so expensive, well you know...............
So I get to the gym, change my clothes, and start bouldering a bit. For those of you who don't know, bouldering is when you do a series of short, powerful moves, but stay closer to the ground, and use no ropes. It is a fun thing to do when you don't have a partner to belay you, or when the creepy guy offers to be your "climbing partner" and belay you on a few routes ("no thanks, I'm just going to boulder today"). Anyways, I am feeling pretty strong, and the creepy guy leaves, so I am feeling like I could use the auto belay to do some top rope climbs and work on my endurance.
I reach for my harness.
OK, step one, slide right foot into leg loop. Step two, slight left foot into other leg loop. Step three, slide harness up legs and onto thi...........wait, wait a second! Why won't my leg loops slide past my knees?
In a panic, I think back, trying to identify the last time I wore the harness - one year ago. How could this be? Has my girth really increased that much in 12 months? Why haven't those squats been paying off? Maybe that cellulite cream I've been smearing on my thighs is actually a cellulite growth formula.
Regretfully, I adjust the leg loops to accommodate my new thighs, and continue climbing, trying not to cut off the circulation to my feet. My BF offers me some excuses (when people get desk jobs....) I know the real reason- my Minneapolis Cake Trip.